Anyone up for being selfish?

I've never thought of myself as a particularly selfish person but a couple of events over the past few days makes me wonder whether other people may beg to differ.

Episode number one... its Sunday afternoon and I've gone to Yaya Center (shopping mall) for a few reasons, one being that the Masai Market is there all day Sunday. I was really only looking for one thing, a scarf/wrap for the mornings and evening when it gets a little cool for a t-shirt or the dress I was wearing on Sunday when it started to pour in the middle of the afternoon. I had what I came for and was heading inside to this amazing book store but had to walk through the mass of vendors to get to the door. I was walking by one lady who asked me if I was wanting to buy anything and when I said no not to day she said well how about you trade your bag for something? I told her I wasn't looking to trade my bag to which she responded, well how about your dress then...thinking that she hadn't really thought that option through (she wasn't selling any clothes) I said thanks but I'll be keeping my dress and moved on. There are a lot of nice things at the market and you are sometimes made to feel like you should at least buy something as you obviously have money to spend.

Episode number two...having left the shopping mall to go to Nakumatt, Kenya's Superstore, I got into a matatu because its too far to walk. Taking a matatu in the afternoon shouldn't be more than 20 shillings. I gave the guy 100 and waited for my change. He proceeded to give me 60 back and when I asked where the other 20 was he showed it to me and said "You'll buy me a soda?" I said no, he asked why so I told him I don't have to pay more just because I'm a mzungu (white person). He said "you aren't paying more, you're buying me a soda!" I again said no, and this is when I started asking myself this question, and he asked me whether it was because I was selfish...at this point we were at the stop I wanted, he gave me my 20 shillings and I got off.

So I’m left wondering what people think when they see me walking down the street. I’m definitely not the only white person in Nairobi but I’m definitely a minority. Some people think I’m rich which you could argue I am especially relative to the majority of people here. As a result some people also see me as some one they can get something from…like a trip to Canada for example which may or may not include getting married. When I was doing microfinance research a street boy asked me whether I could take him to Canada. I said I couldn’t and he said oh its because I’m a black African…which I told him had absolutely nothing to do with it, but he will think what he likes. I do like it here but there are times when it feels like being at home would be much less complicated.

So am I selfish? I want to keep my bag and my dress, I didn’t buy the guy soda, and I told the street boy I couldn’t afford to take him to Canada...which is the truth, but when have you given enough? How much is too much, too much money, too much stuff? Where is the point where you look at what you’ve got and say I’m selfish…?